“No” means no.

Blaming a woman for being raped is like blaming a man for being mugged.

  • Why were you out at night by yourself? Where was your spouse or parent?
  • You were asking for it, dressed like that, carrying your wallet in your back pocket.
  • You weren’t injured. You must not have fought very hard, so you must have wanted to be mugged.
  • You were drinking?! Well, no wonder.
  • You were too drunk to recall the details? Well, then, how do you know you didn’t +give+ the mugger your wallet?

Rape is assault. Rape is a crime. Anyone can be raped, just as anyone can be mugged.



  1. We do ‘blame’ people for being mugged. Police often advise you not to go out into certain parts of the city, or flash around your wealth because mugging isn’t a politicized crime.


    “Be discreet with your belongings; displaying expensive jewellery or electronic devices, like mobile phones or cameras, could attract unwanted attention.”


    “Avoid excessive drinking, or if you have been drinking, recognize its impact on your judgment. Alcohol is a contributing factor in many assaults. ”

    “If possible, don’t walk alone during late-night hours. Walk in groups whenever you can—there is always safety in numbers. ”

    It’s sorta like how women are often advised to avoid wearing revealing clothes or drinking heavily, especially at night, to avoid rape.

    Rape is a bad thing, likewise mugging, so we have a strong interest in teaching people ways to avoid it. If they avoid doing these things we’re a bit annoyed at them. It doesn’t mean its their fault, but they really shouldn’t get drunk and wander around at night flashing their expensive stuff around.

    • Nancy said

      Apples and oranges, Thomas. You’re pointing out safety tips. Educating people about personal safety is not blaming the victim. Rape victims are very much blamed for being raped, in large part because we still see it as about sex, rather than violence, in a way other victims are not blamed.

      I’m…saddened that there are still people who can’t see that, but it explains why we’re finding that there’s been so little progress made on this front.

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